50 Things I'm Not Allowed to do at a Battle City Tournament
Translated for YGO:TAS.
I didn't write this, it is originaly to be found here.
I didn't write this, it is originaly to be found here.
1. I cannot tell fangirls that Kaiba is giving free hugs.
2. Shouting "It's time to D-d-d-d-duel!" is frowned upon.
3. I am allowed to wear either leather, bondage accessories, or gravity-defying trench coats. I am not, however, allowed to duel naked.
4. I should not give Midol to Mai, unless I wish to be castrated.
5. Only Yuugi is allowed to break official trading card game rules so he can win and consequently save the world.
6. Making barking noises towards Joey will only lead to angry shouting, violent spazzing, and terrifying facial distortions.
7. Any semblance between the Millennium Ring and the One Ring is purely coincidental.
8. The Millennium Puzzle is not a triangular Rubix cube.
9. I am not allowed to use cards as toilet paper, business cards, sexual toys, or in a simple, innocent game. I am allowed to throw them at my enemies, use them to make disturbing hand gestures, and saving the world.
10. The Millennium a**-Kicker is not a card, nor does it defeat all my opponents in one turn.
11. I will not shout "Just kiss him already!" every time Yuugi and the Pharaoh have a touching moment.
12. Jokes about the Millennium Rod get old fast.
13. I should not give Tea pom-poms. She's doing fine on her own.
14. Kidnapping Mokuba will only lead to immediate disqualification, if not dismemberment at the hands of Kaiba Seto.
15. I may not, under any circumstances, attempt to pat Yami no Malik on the head and say "Cheer up, emo kid!"
16. I cannot tell minor duelists that the Shadow Realm is a great place to get super-rare cards for free, and then proceed to tell them how to get there.
17. Dumping water on Yuugi's head to see if his hair will flatten is something that I should never consider.
18. Bakura is not a girl, no matter how pretty he is.
19. Isis' tauk does not help me to see through clothing.
20. I am allowed to brandish the Millennium Rod and cackle wildly during a duel. "Brandishing" my Millennium Rod and cackling during a duel is not allowed.
21. The Shadow Realm is not a good place to play "hide and seek" with Yami no Bakura.
22. Locking Duke Devlin and Tristan into a closet on the Duel Ship is considered bad taste, no matter how hawt the buttsechs might be.
23. Wiggling my fingers and saying "Doo-de-loo, doo-de-loo, doo-de-loo!" during flashbacks is banned.
24. I should never comment about Yuugi's height.
25. I do not own the eighth Millennium item, nor was I married to the Pharaoh in Ancient Egypt.
26. The Duel Tower does not mean that Kaiba is compensating.
27. Neither does the God Obelisk.
28. Repeating all of Yami no Bakura's lines about the Millennium Ring in a Gollum voice is a bad idea. Also, the Ring is not my "precious".
29. I am not allowed to count out loud how many times the Pharaoh mentions his destiny.
30. Telling Malik to "Suck it up!" every time he talks about what the Pharaoh did to him is discouraged.
31. The Millennium Puzzle is not bling, and Yuugi is not a pimp.
32. The Pharaoh is not my personal Jesus.
33. I cannot sell the Millennium Ring on Ebay each time it reappears, no matter how much money I might be able to make.
34. I should never use the Millennium Rod to force my favorite bishonens to "get it on."
35. Playing keep away with the Millennium Puzzle is a bad idea.
36. So is telling Yuugi to get a life and stop playing with stupid card games.
37. The rivalry between Yuugi and Kaiba is not caused by sexual tension.
38. I am banned from looking up fanfiction or porn on Kaiba's super computer.
39. Giving anything high in sugar content to Joey is very, very wrong.
40. I am discouraged from pointing at Malik and asking him what he's hiding behind his back.
41. Asking Mokuba if he has a brother complex might lead to some intense violence.
42. I am never, ever allowed to play strip-Duel Monsters.
43. Getting Yami no Bakura to send everything to the Shadow Realm is not an appropriate way to handle my problems.
44. The Millennium Items are not Horcruxes and Yami no Malik is not related to Voldemort, despite the Prophecy scar on Malik's back.
45. I will not give copies of the Evil Overlord List to all the villains.
46. Poker is expressly forbidden anywhere within 100 feet of Yuugi or Kaiba.
47. I will not swing the Millennium Rod around and make light-saber noises.
48. The high winds on the Battle Ship are not to be taken as an opportunity to look up Tea's skirt.
49. Should any my opponents fall asleep, I will not draw All-Seeing Eyes on their foreheads in gold pen.
50. I will not take out life insurance on the Pharaoh.
