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wow it's been a while since i've written in here. alot has happened in the past little while. my gf has become a model for one thing, she's still in training though because she's unexperienced, and she's probably gonna be there for a while. i moved my room back to the way it was right before spring break (cuz i thought the new arrangement wasnt workin out). during the spring break my brother accidentally sliced my thumb open with a machete, its fine now, left quite a scar. now i got giant pink frowny face lookin thing on my thumb xd .

*sigh* but lately thing's just haven't been going my way. first off, as of tomorow morning i am going up to my friend and officially quitting that internet show. rick is just way too hard to work with now, he's just too difficult. frankly if this is how the show is gonna be from now on, ******** the whole thing. second, my idiot friend eric has been spreading this s**t around school. apparently i have a new nickname that he picked up from my gf's father "miley the shewolf" isnt that judt ******** great. third, come september, both my brothers are moving away. my oldest brother zack is going to london for school (which is an hour away), and seth is considering also going to toronto for school (an hour in the other direction). so i would be left here all alone with my parents...gee thats swell, just us 3 and me having no booze supplier, fan ******** tastic!! well i guess the plus side of seth going would be that i would get his room, and his room is just awesome, its got the best heating, a personal bathroom, located next to the laundry room with a fridge in it so i guess that would be a plus, but the ONLY one at that.

on top of all that, i'm begginning to suspect that my gf susan, hates me. for the past week and a half, maybe 2 weeks. she has been incredibly pissed off, why she will not say. she won't even talk to me anymore, and when i try to talk to her she just says she's pissed and for me to ******** off. she wont tell me why she's so mad, or even who she is mad at, she wont even say if its about me or not. but she's been saying such horrible things to me, she won't even say "i love you" to me anymore. this is all just caused by what or who ever is pissing her off, but it's been going on for so long now, it must be bad. she's just been shutting me out completely though, she refuses to say a single word. i fear that sometime soon, me and her are going to come to an end, i never wanted that, ever. even though she's been sayin such awful things to me, i still love her more than anyone else in the world, and i never stopped. but lately she's just changed........she's different now......this is not the susan i knew or fell in love with, i dont know who she is anymore....

is it that all good things must come to an end? what goes up must come down? or is this all just part of the 7 years of bad luck i got when i accidentally dropped and broke that mirror in the shower while i was shaving? whatever it is, i just hope it will all end soon. some of these things wont change, i just want things with me and susan to go back to the way they were, i dont want to lose her............