This is my christmas Memory:
I hate getting gifts. I feel that when I give, I take away the pain someone's suffering, even if just for a moment. My parents adpoted me when I was two, and I was never what they wanted. I was born with Asburger's Syndrom. It's a very high functioning level of autism. I had mental probelms as a child and I caused alot of problems for my parents. I wasen't what they wanted. My mother calls me the disgrace of the family, becuase I want to be an artist and I wear all black. My both Aunts on my father's side won't even speak to him for this reason. My parents get me alot of gifts becuase they feel they need to buy my love. But they don't. I love my parents, they did the best they could with me. I've told them this. But my mother won't listen when I say I don't want anything for Christmas. I just want to give, I donate to charity, I buy toys for the Red Cross, I work at food kictens, and buy everyone one of my friends and family gifts with my own allowance I save the whole year. And buy nothing for myself. I hate myself, I belive I'm horrible and greedy for wanting things when some have so little. But now my mother insists on buying me things and so do all my friends and family, and I hate it.....I will cry on Christmas day if I wake up to a room filled with christmas Presents and unneeded things that others need much more then me.[/
View User's Journal
 |
Community Member