Dedicated to the feeling of--
I don't know who to turn to anymore. I feel so alone. I want to share love with someone. To be cared for unconditionally, to care for just as much in return. I feel as though I'm searching for it too early. I feel the fool for being a hopeless romantic, the fool for wanting true love, for not being interested in boyfriends but in companions. I'm aware my powerful affection is something called a teenage crush. I'm aware that though I felt it was more-- it isn't. But I want it so badly. I feel SO selfish and SO foolish, but I do. So so badly it sings in my veins, tightens in my chest, tingles down my hands, makes me dizzy with so many things, makes giant birds fly around in my gut. It makes me crazy, turns a tear into a panic attack, the pure, unfiltered, man-eating need for someone to hold me like they mean it. It drives my jaws crazy, in pain from how many times I've smiled from simple, unadulterated pleasure. It makes me feel in awe-- I can feel. Yes I can feel! More than just boredom, mild tiredness and numbness. I CAN feel this thing. These things called affection and grief and pure joy! and thrill and scorching anger. I can I can I can. And it's not a vague, untouchable dream. It's not a half-hearted wish. It's real and it's sending my whole body reeling. Someone... just... will you share this with me? Will you hold my hand and fall into this eternity with me?
I don't know who to turn to anymore. I feel so alone. I want to share love with someone. To be cared for unconditionally, to care for just as much in return. I feel as though I'm searching for it too early. I feel the fool for being a hopeless romantic, the fool for wanting true love, for not being interested in boyfriends but in companions. I'm aware my powerful affection is something called a teenage crush. I'm aware that though I felt it was more-- it isn't. But I want it so badly. I feel SO selfish and SO foolish, but I do. So so badly it sings in my veins, tightens in my chest, tingles down my hands, makes me dizzy with so many things, makes giant birds fly around in my gut. It makes me crazy, turns a tear into a panic attack, the pure, unfiltered, man-eating need for someone to hold me like they mean it. It drives my jaws crazy, in pain from how many times I've smiled from simple, unadulterated pleasure. It makes me feel in awe-- I can feel. Yes I can feel! More than just boredom, mild tiredness and numbness. I CAN feel this thing. These things called affection and grief and pure joy! and thrill and scorching anger. I can I can I can. And it's not a vague, untouchable dream. It's not a half-hearted wish. It's real and it's sending my whole body reeling. Someone... just... will you share this with me? Will you hold my hand and fall into this eternity with me?
