The only friend who makes an effort to make me feel better, at least in real life, cuts herself, has constant thoughts of suicide, and ocassionally treats me like a child.
I'm in love with someone who is practically a figment of my imagination.
The one person who can make me happier than almost anyone now hurts me worse than anyone can.
I don't have a life outside of the internet, besides school, and though I'm not doing anything to change that I still wish and feel as if the world is disappointing me.
I have been given the means to make something amazing out of my life.
I have people who care about me, I am a spoiled brat-- I have all of the materialistic needs I could ever really want, and I have the means to be one of the top students in my school. I know, I'm smart.
I have the talent to DO something with my life after school but I act on none of that.
Instead I rely on the words of people I've never met in my entire life, that type to me half a country, or half a world away, I rely on them and just those small things can either send me into a panic attack or make me want to start a family.
I fall in love too easily, I am over-emotional, I am cruel, I am a slut, and I am a slob.
My teeth are rotting out of my mouth.
I can feel it everyday.
I cramp up whenever I try to run too far.
Which is, oh I dunno, the first 2 minutes of "jogging" the mile in my gym class.
I can barely go that far.
I have lost all respect for myself and my body.
I have lost all will to move on, to change, to do things for myself.
I am weak, and easily influenced.
And after all of this, I still will not change.
Yeah okay that sums it up.
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Color My Murder
Uh.
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heartbroken x monster
Community Member |
User Comments: [1] [add]
User Comments: [1] [add]
Community Member
Don't count your eggs before they hatch, a wise man once said. If the future hasn't come to you, why be afraid of it? Why try to fear the invisible?
The people that might provide comfort may be far away, but the important thing is, they help you though the truly horrible times. What would be better, a real person who doesn't listen, or somebody far away who cares?
[/motivational rant]