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You know how it is. You need someone to talk to and your not sure to call. Weather you should call a best friend or a boyfriend, maybe an ex. In my case, I don't wanna talk to any because I feel like crying, and... you know how in a group of people you always have someone every one goes to? Well, I'm that person in my group. I'm the image of the strong person, and I feel bad, throwing my problem on them when I know they have enough already. Even if no one reads this I'll be okay because I had gotten whats bothering me out already. And so:

My mom is the person I always talk to. She knows me better then me in some points of veiw, but what she doesn't know (Or might know and I don't know she knows because it sure the hell didn't come from me) is I hide a lot of things, because it'd make her worry more then anything. I like to have her think I'm careless and clueless to what she's talking about. I'm 18 and I play the part of a child so no one will worry. with that said heres whats on my mind right now:

I feel guilty every time my mom spends over $20 on me. I feel like I'm taking avantage of her, because I know we don't have enough money to be waisting one stupid things, but some time I get in over my head. I'm a girl who hates shopping because it makes me feel like s**t. I feel like the bad guy or that jerk that randomly pushes people for no reason, and I hate that feeling.

Reasontly, I joined this class. For fun at first. Just to have the skill. Well, I had to pay 575 dollars to get in(Highschool class). I thought, well I think it be worth it. So I pay and I joined. Little did I know, I'd keep paying for things. It started small you know 4 or 5 dollars here and there then before I knew it I was spending $50 or more for one high school class every time I went out. Trust me when that class was over I was like. . . YAY! Don't get me wrong I loved the class. I did learn new thing and made new friends, but I'm just too poor to take the expence. Then I find out I gotta take summer school... at one of the collages... NOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooo!

Now, after $1000(Money which I do not have) I'm taking a nail class and a hair coloring class at 'San Jack'(Not the real name but people here call it that). I have to spend another 1000 for supplise that I should have gotten but don't have because I'm poor. I feel like crap my friends... I don't want to take this class but I don't want to quit. The classes are 9 hours long and they start at 7:30. Right now its 7:40. I should be in class but I'm not.

I don't have my uniform because I goofed off all week-end. I ment to get it but time flys whan you have fun. And now I feel like s**t because I can't go to a class I spent too much money one to begin with.