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Changed my video.

Anyways... things are awful, and I don't know what I should do anything. I don't know what's right or wrong. I'm just so tired of it all... Somehow, I find myself wondering why it just won't end.

If he's so happy with her, if he can be with her for so long when she's upset, then why is there a need for me? Has he just chained himself to me, not letting himself let go? Is that it? Is he only really with me because of the guilt from hurting me so long ago?

I'm strong, though. I don't need him in my life. He doesn't need to be with me... I can keep going; I can keep living without him there beside me. Is this a terrible thing to write? I don't think it is... You have to be able to live without someone. If you can't move on without someone beside you, then you can never really move forward, I believe. If you can live without someone, then you won't take them for granted when you are living with them in your life... At least, I like to believe this.

These past few days have been terrible, and I just keep seeing New York rise up around me. I miss it so... I enjoyed myself so much, only to come back to something painful. Why?

I think my time is almost up [at Starbucks].

New York will always be a source of happiness for me. That trip was amazing. =] All of those nights in a city that never really sleeps... How much I would give to relive those nights in place of the ones of these past few days.