Chapter 3 - Ham and Cheese
The next morning can be described no other way than as a blur. All I remember is my determination and sheer focus to look especially good for the events that lay ahead of me. I even took the time to put on makeup for the first time in God knows how long. I was certain my mom would ask what all the fuss was about, but I had an excuse thought up so I was more than covered. I was one gigantic leap ahead of the game and it felt amazing.
Of course there had to be something to bring down my mood. There always was. And yes, it just had to be none other than Andrew himself. In his most recent campaign to me, he said he wanted to try being friends again. Like that was going to happen. I knew better than he thought I did. His grand gestures were getting a little repulsive and making my day’s gleeful energy gradually decline. First bell of the day rang. A sweeter sound than I remember, but maybe that’s because it saved me from a hug that he obviously wanted from me and obviously was never going to get. That boosted my energy back up a couple points.
I hurried off to my first period class. World History. Oh joy, more drama. Only this time it was a bunch of Japanese and Germans stirring up the pot. Great. I sat down at my desk with a sigh and started pulling out my essentials.
“Good morning , Courtney.” My teacher was standing to the right of me watching as I diligently started unpacking.
“Morning.”
“I just thought I’d inform you that we are watching a rather boring video on World War I today. So, if you have somewhere you’d rather be, I can always sign your agenda and you can be on your way.” I took that as a sign. It was going to be a good day whether the rest of the world wanted it to be or not.
“Actually, I think I’ll go see Mr. Hawkins. He’s always behind when it comes to grading papers so I figure he could use my help this morning. If that is okay with you, of course.” I flashed a hopeful smile for good measure.
“That’s perfectly fine.” She smiled back and then helped me pack my things back up.
“Thanks.” She handed me back my agenda with her signature freshly printed out on it. Freedom! I could now leave and go see my favorite Biology teacher! As if seeing him third period everyday wasn’t enough, I would get to see him two times today. Okay, Mr. Hawkins wasn’t really the only reason I wanted to go to M5 that morning. I had recently obtained the knowledge that he taught Matthew first period. Either way, I was excited as I’ll ever be.
Everyone decided to look up right as I walked into the classroom, crushing my hopes to go unnoticed for a few minutes. There were a few smiles flashed here and a few annoyed glares thrown there. The most prominent glare of all came from Andrew, he was clearly upset that I refused to hug him earlier this morning. He was trying to get me to care but I just ignored him and smiled back at a few of my friends.
That’s when I saw him. Right smack dab in the middle of those few friends. Just sitting there and smiling like he was part of the gang. Part of my gang. It was almost like he belonged there. He fit in perfectly and yet imperfectly at the exact same time. He was so completely and utterly new, it was far more than fascinating.
Mr. Hawkins finally realized I had entered and walked the four feet necessary to get from where he already was to me.
“Well hey there, Courtney. I haven’t seen you since yesterday. What are you doing here?” He asked in a kind way, not in the way certain people ask where their saying ‘what are you doing here?’ but actually meaning ‘when are you going to leave?’.
I explained to him why my teacher had let me lose from her grips and the grips of that lame video that we were bound to watch that morning. As soon as I did, he was asking people to make room for me so that I could sit down. Thankfully it was no where near Andrew, but I had skimmed over one or two minor details....
“There you are, sit right here next to my two star students” He patted them both on the shoulder and then walked back to his desk to continue his paperwork.
I looked to my left to examine the first star student of his. It was one of my best friends from last year, Jasmine King. She was the bubbliest girl you’ve ever met in your lifetime. More energized than that little pink bunny on those commercials. We hadn’t spoken in a while, due to the fact that Andrew was her ex right before he became my....whatever he was. That still didn’t change the fact that I looked to her like she was my own flesh and blood. She was my sister. No boy nor lack of conversation was ever going to change that.
I had to turn around to see who was the second gleaming star in this little group of teachers’ pets. I was prepared for anything, I was even prepared to turn around and see that Andrew had teleported from one side of the room to the seat behind me. That would have just made my day and universe complete. Not.
What I wasn’t prepared for was that happened when I actually did turn around. Right there, staring back at me with luminous green eyes, was him. That’s right, him. Matthew Johnson himself. What was I to do now? It wasn’t like I just simply looked at him like I did Jasmine. I was turned completely around in my chair to see this man. So now it appeared as though I was going to actually say something to him. Yeah, okay. Like what? Another infamous ‘Uhhh, hi?’. That would hook him for sure.
There we both were. Stuck in the middle of an awkward stare off. Both refusing to say a word, even though we had more than enough to talk about. That's how it felt at least. Either way, one of us had to say something. Now lingering in the air between us was the question of 'what'.
I decided to break the silence, “So, aren’t you that guy that hugged me randomly yesterday?”. We both knew the answer to the question of course. However, playing it off like I didn’t know in such an apparent way made it a cute flirting technique.
“Hmm, let’s see...”, he pretended to think intently on the subject. It required little to no thought process whatsoever. It was a simple question. He decided to be difficult.
After stroking what little facial hair he had and staring off into space for about five minutes, he finally said, “Yes. I do believe that was me after all.”
I couldn’t help but smile when he said what he did. First, he sits with my friends and now he uses my technique. That’s it. I was so totally done for. He had me right where he wanted me. Yet another question presented itself - where exactly did he want me? Wait. If he wanted me somewhere then wouldn’t that mean that he actually wanted me? My head was so filled with commotion that I decided to let it go and give him the satisfaction of having the last word. I turned around in my chair just as he flashed me that beyond brilliant smile of his. This would be the downfall of my world as I knew it.
Three more class periods went by in a flash. Before I knew it, it was lunch time. This used to be the time where I could release a load from my shoulders by talking to my friends, but not it was different. They had switched my schedule since it was the beginning of the second semester. Which inevitably meant the end of December was rearing its’ head. I couldn’t decide if I was happy that Christmas break was coming or a little disappointed. I mean, yeah, I hated almost all of the people attending North Hill, but there was always that small percentage that I really didn’t want to be apart from. Those few people, as it turns out, got switched too. Not into first hour with me, however. Now who was I going to sit with?
I scanned the cafeteria in hopes I might spot someone that I knew. It took me a while but I managed to track down someone. When my eyes finally hit upon a familiar face, I couldn’t help but be overcome with relief. It was one of my best friends, Kaye. I began to approach the seat next to her. As I did, I realized that she was talking to a young man sitting across the table from her., I didn’t try to identify him while I was walking though, I was too focused on getting that seat before anyone else. The only reason I had even paid attention to the fact that she was talking to anybody is because she was angry. Or maybe it wasn’t anger, it sounded more like a mixture of jealousy and frustration. Wondering why, I took my seat as silently as possible in attempts not to avert their attention.
She would have never noticed me, if it wasn’t for the fact that the man sitting across the table was my newly found flirting buddy. Matt. And of course, he had to break their little quarrel when I sat down, to smile at me once again. I can’t complain too much, after all, it was a gorgeous smile. His smile was shortly followed by a huff and a puff from Kaye. There may have been an eye rolling or two shot at him as well. I really wish I knew what they were arguing about. Nonetheless, it was over so there wasn’t any point in bringing it back up again.
“Can I talk to you for a second?” This was the first time I had ever heard Kaye whisper. It’s not really her fault she’s loud, she is Italian after all. But I had never heard her so concerned about something that she actually brought her decibels down a notch.
“Sure.”, I replied hesitantly. Something in the pit of my stomach told me I wasn’t going to like this conversation.
“Do you like Matt?” There it was. The little ‘L’ word. It’s normally not that big of a deal. However, in teenage melodramatic girl world, the one in which North Hill High revolved around, it meant everything, It seemed as though my stomach was right after all. I hated this conversation even before it took off.
“Why does that matter?” Okay, for one, why would I tell her when I knew for a fact that it would come back full circle to bite me? Kaye was one of my best friends but I knew the kind of person she was. You never tell her anything you didn’t want the whole world to know through some sort of public service announcement. For another, I wasn’t ready to share reality with myself yet, let alone another person. My feelings would be my feelings to know about. Everyone else was just going to have to get over that.
The mixture of jealousy and frustration reappeared on her face. She got ready to say something but decided to continue eating her lunch instead. Technically, it wasn’t her lunch, it was parts of Matt’s lunch that he sectioned off for her. She would have stolen them if he’d forgotten or refused to anyway. He was getting annoyed with this little habit she had picked up. So, he decided to do something out of the ordinary today....
“Please take this, you look hungry.” He handed me half of his fam and cheese sandwich. It was part of the disgusting lunch tray ensemble put together by our evil lunch lady. I swear, she put the most revolting food on there just to watch students squirm. I hated to decline anything Matt had to offer, so I took a small bite and forced back the urge to vomit with a smile.
“Hey! That was mine.” Kaye put on that pathetic puppy dog face she used when there was no alternative left to get her way.
“I’m sorry. I guess we’re just going to have to fight to the death. Winner take all.” I was being sarcastic of course, but now it felt like there was really something on the table. The jealousy in her eyes whenever I would look or talk to Matt said it all. It all fell perfectly into place at that moment. He was on the table. He was the sandwich. My sandwich. I was not going to lose that ham and cheese.
“It’s on!” She chuckled to herself and grabbed my arm. The arm which controlled the fates of my hand. The hand which was locked in a death grip around that sandwich. Without warning, she bit down on my arm. My arm twitched, making my hand flail open, which in turn made the sandwich spiral down onto the cafeteria floor. That was it. Game over. I had lost. No more sandwiches. All that would be left was the memory of that one single, beautiful bite that I had taken. A glimpse of pure cheesy and hammy happiness.
At that moment, the bell rang. Lunch, my worst nightmare, was over. I wanted to get out of there as quick as I could. I left Kaye and the sandwich sitting there in their victory. Looking more prideful than ever, I was starting to catch onto who she really was. And to tell you the truth, I didn’t really like it.
I had been so preoccupied with getting out of there and about the theory of the sandwich that I had forgotten about the real Matt. He was now walking with me, it felt as if all I really did lose in that cafeteria was a sandwich. Just a sandwich.
“She bit me. I think I’m contracting a disease.” I laughed, which in turn made him chuckle. I figured a little light humor while walking could do us some good.
“Yeah, you’re going to die in two days.” He chuckled again but then realized the seriousness of what he had said. “Err, knock on wood.” He did as he said, proving his word. He knocked on the first wooden wall we both passed.
“No, I’m going to die tomorrow. Thanks.” I shot him a quick smirk and then continued looking forward. Making sure that you don’t bump into anyone in the hallways isn’t an easy task, especially for a klutz like me.
“I’ll send flowers.” Good comeback.
“So you mean to tell me, you wouldn’t even come to my funeral?” Too bad I was better at this than he thought.
“I was just kidding. I’d come to it alright. I’d be there crying tears of blood.” This isn’t really a line any regular guy would use to flatter a girl. For some odd reason though, it worked on me. I think it was because there was a subtle line of honesty behind his unique humor. For instance, if I actually had contracted some deathly virus because of Kaye, then maybe, just maybe.....
Maybe he actually did care enough to cry tears of blood at my funeral.
The rest of the day went by slowly, or so it seemed. The fact that I was no longer with Matt and would not see him until tomorrow was more than just a let down. I would have to go home soon. But all I wanted was to be with him, to see his smile again, to hear his voice, or even chuckle to myself about his red hair one last time. I decided it was useless to get myself worked up over nothing. I simply swallowed my feelings and continued gathering my things so I could go home.
At that moment it seemed as though God listened to my thoughts and decided to help me out. Before I even knew he was walking up to me, Matt was by my side again.
“So, do you think your parents would mind if I stopped by your place tonight?”
If I knew my mother, I already knew the answer to this question. She wasn’t one for ‘out of the normal’ visits from ‘strange’ boys. But, I refused to tell Matt about my rules just yet. Come on, do you really think I was about to ruin my chances here?
“Maybe. I’ll write you later and let you know.” My thought process told me that even if I didn’t get to see him tonight, this still ensured us a good Myspace conversation.
“Okay. Well then, I’ll talk to you later, Court.” He gave me a huge hug and then scampered off to go find James so that they could leave as well.
When I arrived home I rushed to my room and threw down my things. I was ready to ask. Determined. Desperate for a good answer. Maybe this time she would make an exception. Maybe I should have explained my feelings earlier. Maybe not. Who knows whether or not that would have helped my case any.
I ran into her bedroom with high hopes despite the argument that erupted in my head. “Mom?”
“Yes?” She was at her mirror making herself look even more beautiful than she already was, if that was even possible.
“I have a question.” Whenever I said that it usually meant that I really wanted something.
“And what would that be?” Whenever she said that it usually meant that she cared but that answer would more than likely be no.
“Um, well, you see....It’s just....Uhhh...” I continued to babble and blunder on like an idiot, trying to delay the inevitable.
“Well, spit it out already.” She wasn’t one for the babbling or blundering either.
“Uhh, my friend Matt wants to stop by and see me later on tonight. Do you think that would be alright?”
“Later on tonight? How late are we talking? You know your bedtime is at ten.” Told you so.
“Yeah I know and it wouldn’t be that late. It’d just...” - She waved her free hand at me to cut me off.
“Actually, on second thought, it’s too late already. It’s almost seven o’ clock, we still have dogs to tend to, and it is too hard to do things during the week with your dad having to get up early for work.” That’s two times. I was going to have a very boring night but, at least I was right two times in a row. Oh yeah. Score.
“That’s okay.” It was far from okay with me. In fact, it was so far beyond okay that whatever I was couldn’t even understand the term ‘okay’. But it would have to be that way for now. It would have to be okay.
I walked into the kitchen and sat down at that ever faithful, dependent, piece-of-crap computer. Soon after, I quickly logged into my myspace account. I went to Matt’s web page and clicked on a box that allowed me to post a comment.
I commented and so we began talking about. We held conversation for the next twenty minutes or so, as I explained there were some rules when it came to me and when I was allowed to have strange boys show up at my house. Surprisingly, he was okay with it all. He said he did not mind and that he still wanted to see me whenever my mother would allow him over. Perfect. This all felt almost too good to be reality.
We said our goodnights and I headed off to bed. I had a feeling tomorrow would be a day to remember.
( P.S. - Sorry the indentions are off. Sorry if you don't really care and I just now brought it to your attention with this redundant PSing. Oh well...)
View User's Journal
My Life
 |
CourtneyNicole143
Community Member |
