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It's unstoppable. Can't control it anymore, rising like a tidal wave of energy, threatening to wipe me out completely. I did my best to control it after school, with Adam, but it simmered just be low the surface. I've never experimented with energy meant to harm. Hell, i've barely experimented with anything. But after school, something almost took over. I flicked my fingers afterwards, and I could see the energy flying off of my finger tips. I'm scared, scared, confused and lonely, and I'm never that way with people, right when i need answers the most, I'm always alone. People threaten, they chatter, they do everything to avoid the important subject. I need somebody to talk to that knows what they are doing. I can talk till the cows come home, but the fact is is that all of that rage i so carefully locked up came roiling back with a vengeance at the slightest provocation. I want so badly right now to lash out at something, to harm, to maim, to injure, and i don;t know why. I feel lost, certainly not myself, and I huge rush of energy. It desperately seeks release, and as i type now i can see it flying off of my finger tips, dissipating with no purpose. I fear it is only a matter of time before I snap and hurl something at someone.
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