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Seriously. I did forget about last night's dream for awhile throughout the day but I still remember it rather vividly. Delicious fruity kisses. Not exactly what we usually did. Spicy kisses were what we did, but I guess with skittles sometimes we'd do fruity, sweet kisses.

Anyway, I shouldn't be too bent out of shape about it because it really wasn't devastating to wake up and realize it was just a dream. I knew it was a dream as soon as he kissed me. That notion was enforced by the fact that he wouldn't answer my questions about what he was doing and what it meant. Confirmed when I opened my eyes and found myself alone.

He has changed me. For the better. I am more confrontational. And not in an aggressive way but more of an assertive way. I mean, I'm still nowhere near the same level as some other people and not nearly as blunt or upfront as he is but still. I'm not a push-over anymore. Guys will not be able to steal my heart away suddenly and just rip it to shreds in a few weeks.

He's also showed me that guys can be amazingly sweet and respectful. I mean, I've always hoped and believed that not all guys were horrible jerks but the guys I dated before him didn't really reflect that the way he has. I think the reason I'm so happy is because I still have hope, and it's not just a hope that we might get back together some day, because I know that's unlikely. But it's a hope and assurance that if he's not my forever, then God has something even better planned.

I just have to trust and wait. Same old story. When I get impatient, I get my heart broken. I need to embrace patience and guard my heart until I know that someone else is prepared to hold onto it forever. Here's to hoping I can learn how to do that before my heart gets broken beyond repair.