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Amber doesnt even want me there..with no reason..just no..and I can't help but cry...cry back to insanity all over again..why?..simple..Im alone..mom wants me dead or controlled in her own claws..I refuse to be her pet..father never wanted a child..so here I am..rushed in life, slapped, hit, threatened, stabbed at, shot at to 18..and with the loving relationship with Amber for 2 years...and now graduation is done..and now..she hits me aside..it feels like no one ever really cared about me..like Im just some obstacle to be stomped down..she doesnt want me to love her, nor hold me close, nor ask for my help, nor anything..she said before just wait for awhile..why?..something is up, she wont tell me, no one will, she doesnt trust me to that extent..I might as well cry my eyes out and watch tears of blood drop from my sockets as I slowly go blind..might as well draw within a shell and die..that way, since no one wants me, no one has to bother with me..right?..