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When I start getting depressed...I can't hear anything. All I hear is that same voice telling me how alone I am. How stupid I am, i'm a loser and it's always going to be that way.

I can't help people think differently of me and they look at me different. I think people literally think i'm mentally retarded.

I hate my body, I hate my voice. I hate everything about me.

And when I get like this. I know I need help. But nothing helps. I struggle everyday. And i'm so so tired. I hate it when people hate me. I hate how I hate myself.

I can't tell if i'm bitter or who i'm blaming, me or other people. I might be self centered. My head always feels like it's going to come off my shoulder.

And I get sick to my stomach. Which is why i'm so skinny, I don't have a high metabolism i'm just sick and in alot of pain inside. And no one loves me.

And i'm always stuck on whether I really want to die or not.

And no one reads this s**t anymore, because I drove everyone away. And I hate myself more then I thought possible because I did that. I'm a ******** mess.

I wish I could just say goodbye.