I was recently asked a question that I could give no small answer to; this is in part to answer that question, as well as to offer more depth into who I am; this simple man hiding beneath his hat.
So who am I?
I am a man possessed of strong ideology, and convictions; some would say to the point of foolishness and I fully admit that my life would often be easier if I wouldn't be so steadfast in them. I believe in the value of righteousness, dependability, and honor though in my days I have as often struggled with myself to maintain them; I have not always lived up to my own ideals. Hypocritical of me at times I fully admit.
I often feel out of place, in my life and outside of it. Part of the reason for this is inside me beats the heart of a warrior; a soldier without a war. I am proud and I strive so hard to be noble, but I am without righteous cause or holy crusade to dedicate myself to.
The life of a soldier is not to be though; I have severe arthritis in my left knee and cannot join the armed forces, a fact that I find somewhat depressing. For what it is, it simply means I cannot fulfill that desire within me; not in any traditional sense, but I am still learning my place in life so perhaps I shall find another war - in one form or another - to fight.
I am possessed of a romantic heart and a silver tongue; sweet words and affection come easy for me. I fall in love easily, I can be in love with someone in a matter of hours talking to them - if that connection exists - and I generally will stay in love for a very long time. I tend to flirt easily, and without intention, it is all in the nature of my heart; though it shames me, I have said "I love you" to someone and not meant it.
I regret little, and try very hard to survive in the moment I have - to live by my personal mantra: Today is all we have, for we have lost yesterday and we shall never catch tomorrow; the promise of life is this moment, this breath and nothing more. Today is all we have.
I am a dreamer, a person who flits easily between fantasy and reality walking both roads equally in life. I possess a strong imagination, a trait I have carried with me since childhood for parts of me never have, and never will, grow up for I shall always walk freely in my dreams.
I am neither religious or without faith; my beliefs are wide and varied as they encompass much of more traditional religions as I follow what makes sense to me. The first tenant of what I believe is acceptance of others and yourself; I struggle more with the latter then the former. I believe one should always be trying to learn, to further ones understanding of people and the world, so that one can arrive at a greater point of acceptance to those people. I of course make exceptions - serial murderers, rapists; the usual scum who violate every person's inborn right to live and to be free from harm.
I accept death as an inevitability, and even believe that sometimes the only option is to take the life of another but only when doing so is in defense of your rights or those of another. Man will not always sit down and be peaceful; sometimes you must have a strong hand to force the man to be peaceful, even if it is the peace of the dead.
I do not believe in mindless conflict, or even the basic principal behind fighting - I truly only agree with the ideas of fighting a war for the right reasons; to defend your home, family, and way of life from those who will not be peaceful. Fight a war for peace; for peace is maintained only by the presence of the vigilant.
So here you have a bit about me: I am a man who strives to maintain honor and nobility, who possess a romantic heart and the imagination of a child; yet the fire of a warrior burns inside my veins - this soldier without a war.
I am the Man in the Hat.
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Under the Hat
One Man's Musings, a collection of thoughts, ideas, hopes and fears... everything that I am, all that I wish to be... I shall lay bear the truth of my soul... in short, everything I keep Under The Hat.