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he called and asked me to ask my mother to bring him his check book so he could order a pizza and so i said she wasn't here and he asked me how work was and i said fine i guess and then he asked me why i sounded mad and i told him i wasn't mad and he didn't believe me. so i told him i would talk to him when he got home. so then he said that it wasn't his fault that i was here and he was there and i asked him why he couldn't wait 30 more minutes and then he got mad at me and said i was selfish and i told him that i had a really really bad day at school adn he said he was tierd of comforting me and he said we would talk when he got home which means he will be yelling at me. i feel so bad i feel i should die. i dont' know what to do. i love and these fights are so stupid but somehow we always start one. and in the end i lose. i should give up and just say yes dear to everything. really i should. he just called agian it seems that its not my fault or his but i shouldn't start things to make him feel guilty so really i'm still at fault here. he knows i have a really bad memory. i'm still feeling really depressed nad i'm still crying. i'm gonna go to bed i think. he will be home soon and i don't want to talk about this anymore
crying

so good night everyone i hope i wake up in heaven.