I don't really like days like this. The days where I wish that I could just curl up next to someone and lay in bed all day watching something on Netflix and not having to think about things because I don't feel like I can handle what the world is trying to give me. I get so caught up in my thoughts when I have nothing distracting me, when I have nothing to keep my thoughts from consuming me. I have always thought too much. I have always been that kind of person where I would think constantly about something until I just couldn't think about it anymore. I don't like worrying, but I can't help it. And I've tried hiding what I am feeling but it's more exhausting then anything.
I may be an overthinker, but I am also optomistic. So, I believe that everything will be just fine. I think that everything will work out and things will be okay. It's just hard to believe it myself when others don't. I don't know. I don't know what to think. All of the thinking and worrying has been giving me a headache.
I don't want him to worry, and I hate that he was last night. I want him to be okay and I don't want to cause him anything or make any trouble for him. Right now I feel more like an annoyance than anything else. I don't want to disappoint him or make things hard for him.. I just want him to hold me and watch movies and lay together all night. I want to stop worrying already. I think today has just been one of those off days. Probably because the sickness is just dragging on. Maybe I just need to find something to pull my thoughts away. I need to find something to distract me.
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