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Dear Journal/ Journal readers.

So, Where I am it is 3:10 in the morning.
A little silly of a time to be awake and doing things like this, but oh well.

I thought maybe I would share what today had in store for me and maybe it would help me find some peace.
Today my boyfriend broke up with my on facebook.

We live together so its especially terrible that this is how things went.

I have no friends it feels like, I have family but i'm not to close to much of them and
have a hard time confiding in them because I don't want them to worry about me.

My boyfriend is my best friend in the world and we do everything together.
I will always love him no matter what.

One time.. we were at a cottage and he ate to much and projectile threw up all over the peoples door, I got up at 4 am and cleaned the whole door off, as well as the floor, and scrubbed the vomit out of the rug with a rock in the lake to clean it off. I just wanted to help.

I was beyond depressed today when he told me he was "over it" and that we were two different people.

I begged him to stay with me which is something very out of character for me, which was hard enough on its own to swallow my pride and admit that I was broken beyond repair. but his heart didn't soften and he insisted that he didn't care anymore.

It hurts to think about but I am trying to be strong, coming on here was a good idea because I had people to listen to me, I even got a virtual hug (Thanks Max)

I hope things will be okay and that I can be strong because my heart is broken and for the next little while ill need to use all the strength I have just to handle day to day life without the person I am in love with.

I decided though, that instead of be in a depression and think about all the ways I would love to feel nothing, I am going to use this to better myself, and become a person that he will look up to and admire and wish that he was with.

I gave him my heart and he threw it away as if it was nothing more than a piece of trash he was done with.

But one mans trash is another mans treasure.

His loss.

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