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I just would like to hang out with [him] just once. Actually hang out. Not at a party with people around. I just want to sit on his floor downstairs while he's sitting on the couch playing with my hair and I'm leaning on his knee. We're watching one of our favorite movies. Hopefully I'll be able to tell him what's been going on.

But this is a fantasy made for someone that isn't 500 pounds overweight with a huge butt chin and round face that doesn't complement any of their facial features (aka, small eyes, big nose, small lips). This was meant to happen to someone he's interested in; someone he has the same fantasy about. Someone from Gov school. Someone from a past ISEF. Someone from our school, even. Anyone except me because I am repulsive and don't deserve the love I live on.

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I feel like everyone at school knows my business and laughs at me everyday.