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Now You Come Back?
After months of radio static, months of waiting for an unwanted text from you, it finally comes through. It took you 4 months to start a conversation. Your name on my phone has changed. I don't know how to feel. You seem to have changed, but what if this is just a trick? Your words bring me smiles, and I don't feel that hatred. I know that hollow love I had for you still lingers, it surfaces. No. Please. I don't want to feel that again. But it comes anyway. And I sit there, surprised that it doesn't feel painful. I've been content with everything for so long that I don't feel hate anymore. I feel... Forgiveness? I understand now. You were juggling so many things at once. You didn't hate me. Everything in your life was a frenzy. That isn't your fault. You were so exhausted from everything else so much that by the time I stood alone, everything else in your life quieted down for a second, you could barely hold a conversation. Tiring, dragging on this pain. It wasn't what I thought it was. I knew that my feelings weren't wrong, but I couldn't face that. I knew you were a good guy but I got impatient. Impatience. It was the real reason that I couldn't bear another day. I put myself in this hole. And I thought I was out but it was never over. I think I am now. It's summertime, and I'm not gonna waste it. Lets make this a summer to remember.
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