Sometimes I wish people would comment on my journals a little more. At times I need it.
Yeah, that sounded lame. Anyways here is a small update on my life:
Work is going okay, I'm glad this week is my last week. We have three Special Education kids and unfortnatly one is very... Violent. Hitting other kids. Which kind of sucks.
Especially since I'm kind of basically been told I'm doing 1-on-1 with him.
We also have a little girl who kicked my boss at one point during camp. Hee. xP
These kids are like.. 1st grade. D: So she's very ballsey.
In good news!:
My mom's knee is a hella've lot better. We're expecting her right knee to be done soon. The only reason we did the better knee first was because she was having back and hip problems from it. Which is ********' bad.
In bad news!:
My girlfriend lives between Canada and Japan. Being a mental patient, she is now under house arrest in Japan for leaving Canada.
Basically since she is 'mentally ill' she cannot leave the country, and they did not tell her this until they put her on house arrest. Wtf, right? xD
In shitty news!:
School starst mondey wtfbbq? ): That ******** sucks, no?
So I went to the mall Friday and Stu shoved his face in my tits.
The saturday I went again and he wouldnt stop groping my arse, and boobhugging me. I was like "What the ******** hormone kicked in , Stu?" Haha.
Horny little boy he is.
I havnt much to talk about really, though I am trying.
Hmm! I met a new freshmen or two that are coming to our school next year. One is pretty cool, the other I don''t know at all. Met at a concert then went seperate ways. So I would guess she's okay. o_o
Oh for the last week or so, I've been in a very pissed off suicidal mood, that I've just recently pulled out with the help of Cliff. Which really helps. I had my mental breakdown for the month(s.) So yeah, I'm glad he was there for me when I really needed someone to hold me when I was crying.
I don't know why, but whenever I get into these moods, I can act normal around friends, so they don't know. And be at home cutting little hateful messages into my body.
It's sad indeed. Maybe there is something wrong with me, I don't do it for attention. I just.. Do it where I hate myself, and why I hate ,myself. Little hateful demons kind of control my hands. I don't realize its been done until I have done it either. It's not like I'm going 'LOOK AT ME I CUT CRY 4 ME KTHX' It's like.. Nothing. I'm not going to delete this like the multiple times I have before.
Maybe this is my cry for help, or maybe it's my cry for someone to hold me loveingly, and not just for sex and their own pleasure.
Whatever, if keep going on I may snap again. Ew.
Over and out.
-Settuce
Sexual Lettuce Community Member 
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