Very very very very ******** weird.
So I went to my friend's, Corbin, funeral today.. Well viewing anyways.
He's a junior of my class, the school's first kid to die, and well, he died in a horrible car accident. He was only 17. It was an open casket funeral too. Waiting in a long line of people to see him, my friends ended up being behind me, so that was okay. Until one lost control of herself, the whole time she just stood in line and sobbed. All I could do was hug her. There isn't much one can do to help someone through grieving. Hell I almost cried myself, then we got near the door to the room, and..
Oh god, it didn't even look like the Corbin I knew. I almost turned and ran from the room, it was so tempting to just avoid the subject all together and the viewing, and the family, and oh god the family. The reminder that death is more permanent than we think. So much more permanent. It's hard to think about it in the long run, especially for a child, or what do we call ourselves now? Teenagers. That's right.
I got through the room, the father hugged me, and thanked me for coming. All I could think is that I barely knew him... Yet his family is glad I came. When walking by the casket I couldn't do more than glance at him. It was hard to even make myself look. He was fixed very well, though you could see the heavy makeup and repairs on the damage to his face from the accident. Dying from hydroplaning at 80 MPH can not be pretty to fix up. I hugged his best friend, and patted him on the back, then his family, and left the room. I had to leave. Once in the hallway our school councilor hugged me, and my mother. Hell she even had a box of Kleenex. I didn't take the offer, I was about to cry but I wasn't yet. When going into the gym, where the large funeral was going to be held. (Our WHOLE student body was there basically, except most freshmen, who didn't know him. Very popular student, very good man. 4.0 GPA, great at sports. Oh god he was going somewhere too.)
Well once inside the gym, large banners were hung across the wall, everyone had signed them the day before. I found a group of friends, who some couldn't bare to see the body themselves and got hugs I needed. From friends who were sobbing and others we were about to, or even not going to. It was nice to see so many people care about one boy. It really was, and I really found out how many people felt like I was a person with a shoulder to cry on and be comforted by, which made me feel better about myself. Seeing that I was about to break into tears. I was told I'm a very strong person. Adam's little brother came up to me crying, and just hugged me. Along with many other friends. The refused to unlatch from me at times too. After a death letting go of friends seems so much harder than it was before. Pictures of him in his superman shirt were everywhere, and a big slide show was on the wall of his pictures, hobbies, even his favorite comic strip. Which surprisingly was mine as well.
I made my leave very soon after this. I couldn't bare to stay for the funeral for emotional reasons, the body itself traumatized me enough. They don't look "Asleep" they look Dead. As dead as could be, and I really wasn't prepared for how dead he would look. I couldn't stay for the sobbing, and the depression just seeping out of the cracks of the building. I had to leave. I really did, the funeral would have been even worse to go to.
Really this is my own personal grieving for him, and if anyone gets mad about this post: I'm sorry. This is the only way I could think of to deal with this death. The man wasn't a big part of my life, but the way he was ripped away from my life.. No every ones life. I can't even describe it.
This is my own grieving for him, if I wasted your time I'm sorry. If you want to post a few inspiration words, I would enjoy to read them and feel better if I did get a few inspirational words about this, or even stories of others loved ones departing and how you got over it.
All in all: Thanks for reading this, and caring or even not caring.
Sexual Lettuce Community Member 
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