And what is that purpose you ask? To make fun of the anime characters we all know and love (in a funny, loving manner of course! Unless it's a character I really hate. Like Kairi for instance.)
The writers will be my myself and artemislee as well as the occasional comment from her brother, Hijiri. Be warned that we all three are big yaoi/shonen-ai fans.
Now it's time for the first victim!
And the lucky winner is...........Riku from Kingdom Hearts!
wahmbulance ~ Warning~ this rant may contain spoilers ~ wahmbulance
Oh Riku. I just can't wait to start in on him. The silver-haired emo islander that everyone loves, and that Hijiri has. Just joking there girls. He's property of Sora.
*looks at Riku who is tied up in a corner* Well let's begin this then, shall we?
Poor Riku has such an awful life. He's stuck on his own island, with his own boat, got his own mansion, friends, and sweet life anyone would kill to have, but he's just not HAPPY. Someone needs happy pills mes thinks. And he likes to question his exsistence. ASK YOUR PARENTS DUDE. If you are unhappy, ask your Mommy and Daddy what happened 9 months prior to your birth. Also ask them about your living arrangements for that matter. Oh wait, YOU CAN'T! Soras the only one on the island who has parents.
Lets continue on with his mental disorders. He has either really high or really low self-esteem. He gets manipulated by Maleficent, of all people!, and used by Ansem (no straight dude would let another dude anywhere near his pants). He likes to outdo Sora (although this could be related to their bedroom habits) and tease him about Kairi. Either he's desperatly in love with Kairi, or he just likes the face Sora makes when he teases him.
Let's talk about his obessesion with Sora for a little bit. The Anti-Sora more specifically. Why, if Riku hated Sora, and wanted nothing to do with him, did he make a heartless of him, of ALL people? And what exactly does he do with it when we can't see? twisted Just playing there (maybe) Then at the end of the game, he goes and locks himself in the door. "Take care of her Sora"-I love you. That's the part they cut out. Poor guy.
In the next game, (CoM for those of you keeping track) he runs around doing nothing. Booooooooring!
Onto KH2! He becomes the guy who was living in his body. Talk about issues with your identity. I think Ansem raped him. Or whoever it was. Riku displays all the symptoms. He's shy, and wishes to become the agressor rather than himself. ...On the Riku toy packages they should add 'therapy not included' (yes its a reccuring theme)
All in all he's a smexy guy whos your typical bad boy. He messed with things he shouldnt have, is in love with his best friend but won't admit it, and is your general Square Enix character. We're gonna be nice and let Riku go now *cuts ropes* Oh shoot....I think he's dead....*Riku gets up and runs. Hijiri follows him*
Riku: SORRRAAAA!!!!
Mystik: We were pretty nice to Riku.
Artemis: I hope my brother catches him. I want him back.
Mystik: Since Riku's a bit busy, I'll say what he's thinking. In the famous words of Vic Mignogna; "Not another gay fanboy!" Till next time y'all
Artemis: We promise we'll be much crueler heart
Hijiri: I caught him! 4laugh
