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The Bookwyrm
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Because Life is Never Simple
Well, let's start off with the good news: I've lost a total of 9 lbs, which is awesome. Four of them have gone in the past week since I started having a regular sleeping and eating schedule. Yay for no more backshifts!

The bad news is firstly that I can't take my creative writing course; my department head is a team killing ******** and apparently isn't aware of department policy. So because of his mistake, I have to take phone calls at home from him a week after I register, drop the one course I really wanted this year for a course I have no interest in and is going to offer me absolutely no help towards my future studies other than by making sure I have mindlessly fulfilled criteria. I've already had one senior seminar; now I have to have two.

In other news, I find myself with a major delima. I've had a friend for the past three years at school that I've been crazy about. Honestly, it was like someone cracked open my head, took everything that I wanted in a man, and dropped him right in front of me. The problem was that I was seeing someone when we first met, and he's been seeing people since then. He's single now; his latest relationship ended a couple of weeks ago, and we've both admitted a mutual attraction. The problem is that he's a repeat offender on the cheating scene. The one thing I can't tolerate in a relationship is not being able to trust my partner, and I don't think I could trust him. Which is maddening because I've wanted him for three years. A part of me wants to talk to him, maybe engage in something noncommital; I could enjoy seeing someone who's fun casually, and that I'm attracted to. Besides, I'm leaving in May and in September I leave the province for grad school; getting involved in something long term is going to be pointless. But the question is could I even trust him then? Leave it wide open that he could walk away at any time to persue another interest if that's what he wants? What does that say about me? Do I have that little self-worth that I'd sell myself like that?

I'd suggest that he goes for counciling, but he's done that already, and it's done nothing. Mind you, he was in a relationship at the time and was cheating on that partner. Would it make a difference to try seeing a councilor now that he's single? Maybe, maybe not. Is it worth the risk?

Sometimes, I wish things could just be simple.





 
 
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