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I took this out of my myspace and thought I'd post it on here too.




So here I am blogging again. What about? Pain. Simply that.

Many nights I lay in my bed thinking about it. Some nights it was from feeling it others was just my own ponderings.

I used to want it gone when I felt it (spiritual pain not so much physical) like the time I nearly (or did) passed out. The whole time I was praying for the feeling the hurting to go away and when it did I was relieved.

But then other times I want it. Weird huh? It's like I know I feel the pain but I don't want it gone. I want it to stay. It's something that understands me, something thats...listening.



Those thoughs those feelings brought on more thoughs. Why when I want it gone do I want it to stay? It's like I'm playing a game with my self, my emotions, my feelings, and can't pick a side to join. Then I realised (after Judgement House) that why we want the pain.

The Pain lets us know we are still alive in this world, that we can well still feel, breath, interact with people. It lets us know we're not some empty fleashy shell mearly exsisting on this planet, with no purpous or reason for being there.

With this pain we know we haven't died, and that is why we want it, or at least that is why I want it.







p.s. don't worry as I mentioned I'm talking about spiritual pain. Like that nausiating pain you feel in your heart but know no earthly docter can heal. Only God can heal. I'm not like cutting or doing any weird thing like that.