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I ******** hate this..
God..I hate this..Matt's phone won't get turned back on..And the way Matt told me the news..That was like..Really insinsitive..."I have breaking news. We probabbly wont have a house phone ever again." ...Gah..I swear..this is the most I've cried in a long time..It runs up close to the time when we broke up...Its having the same effect on how felt inside...It's even making me have bad dreams like I did when we broke up..Last night I had a dream that I tried to callll Matt's mom's cel phone and here's what the voice message said: "Uh..Ashley..I love you alolt, I realy do..But..I can't stay with you..We never get to talk anymore and it hurts..I'm going to go back with Becca...I mean..At least me and her are able to touch..I', sorry.." But I swear..This is like..Torcher. x_x I just..Really hope that Mat's mom changes her mind..I really..Really do...I'm pondering on sending them some money so maybeb she would turn the hosue phone back on.. Cause..I hate not talking to him..Seriously..Great, now I'm crying..
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