Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

23. Warm feelings

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2514253/14/

After reading that fiction about the pairing of… well, all of the daioh characters, I finally feel.. I dunno ready, I guess to confess my feelings when the time is right and we’re alone… I was so elated when she told me that she was happiest being with me. I hope that it’s a sign that she has feelings that run deep for me too, and… If not, we’re really close anyways, and if she doesn’t have such feelings for me… Then.… I just hope that she says that she feels the same. *blush* and maybe a little more... Of course as always it’s always up to me to take the initiative in anything…. Ha ha. Seriously though… I’m not sure how to say it though; it’ll probably take me the whole time to work up the courage to tell her… But I’m definitely going to do it tomorrow if her mom lets me stay over! That is a promise to me… I can’t go on much longer without knowing for sure where her feelings for me stand. Wendy and Javier probably already know and are just playfully making fun of me for it for right now. Plus if anything like that does hopefully happen, Javier would freak out and never let the girls anywhere near me, or alone for that matter… Not like that would matter *too* much to me.

I’m not exactly sure how long I’ve realized just how much I love her. It was just a startling realization one night while I lay alone in my room shortly before I ran away. I had always carried this deep longing for her shortly before we had moved too, but my tears for a best friend turned into tears for someone I loved truly and deeply. And while I love my little brother, my love needed me just a little bit more. Hopefully I can return to my brother, but I had to think of my own happiness too- I had to be selfish just for once.

I want… to kiss her. I’ve touched her face a little... We hold hands and stuff when ever we’re near each other, but we… Haven’t kissed yet. I act like Niota can actually hear my thoughts on here! I half-talk to myself and half-talk to her on here anyways so it’s not like a difference, is there? And I’m half-wracked with myself whether to just kiss her or ask for permission? Wendy always said to ask a girl for permission before you kiss her, but I’m a girl too-right? And if she says she loves me too, then… *I would be so very very happy*

But… it wouldn’t be her fault if she didn’t love me the why I wanted to… Here is my cushion for my downfall if that’s true, but I need to know… *sighs*

Please love me too, Niota…. Rako-Hime…