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Just pretend you didnt see this here.
This is a journal where you can get a look inside my head, I guess.... This is all very unimportant so just go back to clicking away around Gaia or posting in whatever topic you normally post in. Just remember in the long run, none of this will matt
Ok, I warned you.
Since you have not heeded my warning you will now be subjegated to many a boring tale of my life.

Yup thats me; boring, everyday, normal, ..... me. I guess you can believe that if you wish, or not your opinion is entirely up to you.
I go though life unaware and uncaring. Little means anything to me and I have never found anyone worth it to me. Please take no offence to that of course. I believe I have a self-imaging issue, or at least I am sure that is what some doctors would say.
I am not the best looking girl, in fact I am not good looking at all. Too fat. I do pretty well in school thanks to the gift of photographic memories that my body desided to give me. Unfortunatally for me I have a lack of effort and do not try well in school so I do poorly. I know many people but I am not their friend, though some believe I am. I could honestly care less most of the time. I could easily continue to get through life, friends or not. I feel sorry for some of the people I know, they love me but I am unable to show the same for them. Oh well, they will get over it eventually.
I always try to be passive, most of the time agreeing with what people say. Who am I to deny them what they want to hear. Only the closest people to me know that that is all I do. They get mad at me a lot for doing things like that.
I continue to draw myself up within myself. Not for protection, not because I've been hurt by anyone, simply because this is what is easier on everyone else. I have foud that people like to be right most of the time, a lot of those times them being right leads to their emotional down fall.
Emotion.... Such a silly little thing to have. Wear does one draw the line between emotions and simple electronic responsis you brain gives you in order to react with the situation around you. How do they know that what they are feeling is love, anger, joy? It is all irrelevent anyway. In the end we all die and whether or not we made a contribution to those around us matters little to those who have ceased to live.
People care so much about death. Why does it matter? It will come to all eventually. I would rather die than live forever with such incompitent people as those who I have met so far. What happened to the old ways? Death is just another thing that all must live with in order to trully live. Maybe that is why I am the only person who can understand
In order to understand everything that I think, or dont think for that matter, you must know somethings. These things I can not tell you or even begin to explain. I think it is better to know then to learn, much easier in the long run. Some of this no one will be able to understand, in order to understand you must be completly unattached to everything that you live by. Your body, your mind, even the very essence of being, until all is given up, you are unimportant. But in order to become everything, have everything, you must become nothing. A feat, I am unfortunate to announce, is impossible for beings of such low standards.
By now I am sure most of you either think I am crazy or are completely lost and bored out of your mind, I did warn you on that matter. For the few of you who can understand what I have talked about then it is my unfortunate duty to tell you that you, my kindly respected sir or madam, are completely and totally out of you mind. In which case I suggest getting off your a** and walking to the nearest hospital. I saw walk because I am sure that most of you, like myself, need the exercise. In fact I believe I will take my own advice on this one and head their myself. If you do not hear from me again it means that I was declared cliniqly insane and am being admitted into the local rehabilitation facility.


Sorry to waste your imprecious time,
Livingnothing






User Comments: [2] [add]
Vash-Vash
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Sat Jan 29, 2005 @ 07:49pm
You ******** masochist.

You'll be recieving a phone call form me.


commentCommented on: Sat Jan 29, 2005 @ 08:15pm
I am sorry if I have offended anyone in any way.



TheCarpetLady
Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
 
 
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