Just so you know, I keep one journal merely to post the events of my life. Here, I hope to delve more into ideas, writings, and thoughts behind those events.
I didn't want to listen to James anymore. As he described the police brutality that he witnessed, I was reminded of many of my client's stories, of those told to me by friends, and even the horrors of the photos I reviewed when I worked for an attorney out in the same area. I want to stay optomistic, I want to keep my fear low, but something about what he said and the way he said it has shattered that vision for the time being.
Working in the jail on a near daily basis with the same people who are often victimized by the system, I start to fear for my own saftey and those about me. One slip up, one accident, and my life could be there's. I could be on the other side.
And that makes me want to both change it and run away.
I want to keep a motivation to change my community, to have our programs spread to other states. I mean, this is freaking Alabama! And we're the only county in the entire US, perhaps the world, that gives the severely mentally ill that have committed non-violent felonies a probation of rehabilitation rather than just send them to jail. Our program helps them get jobs, get medical attention, housing, back on their feet. They don't commit new crimes, it costs the government a fraction of what it would have cost to put them through jail, and the client is doing quite well.
But,.... .... I dunno. I'm debated out for the time being. I love my state. I love this country. I don't want to feel I have to leave either.
I felt i let James down by being a bit niaeve about the situation. I dunno. I had a hard time sleeping, my mind tumbling over all we'd talked about: abortion, jail, police, mental health, kids and ritalin....
Christinue Community Member 
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