My friend, Michelle says I'm morbid...and bitter. I have my reasons. I don't feel too inclined to tell them to you, though so ******** off.
I've been moody and depressed for too long, longer than usual anyways. My Freshman year sucks so much a**, it makes no sense. I haven't played guitar in almost 4 months, and my mum won't let me go to my lesson because it's a "reward" because it's not "required". I don't know why I'm such and attention whore, I bleed attention from my boyfriend everytime I see him. I'm tempted to call him over my house right now. My family thinks I'm pregnant because I threw up one morning, but they didn't know I ate a ton of chocolate bars and drank six glasses of milk before bed the night before. They still think I'm pregnant even though I've assured them I'm not. I hate myself, but I have no reason that I can actually put my finger on. I'm just ******** up at the moment.
I haven't been going to school lately. I've been immersing myself in books to forget about my own life. pathetic, huh? I feel like s**t because I've been attempting to eat myself into oblivion (chocolates, any types of sweets, just plain gluttonous...ness) and I've gained 12 pounds. Took me long enough, about two years, actually. I'm now like 130-ish. I'd bank on 135, actually. I'm getting to be pretty obese, huh? lol
I'm still depressed, but no one really seems to give a damn. Good, I don't want their sympathy, like I'm pathetic or something like that...-feh-...whatever, I'm about to go get my guitar fixed. I might post later...actually, I won't.
Jay Ree Community Member 
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