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I'll skip all that and come right to the point, the groin of the story, if you will:  I stood over my sleeping roommate, knife in hand with a maniacal grin on my face.  He was going to pay for what he did – the unthinkable crime he had committed, the capital sin which would surely send him to hell. 
He was just lying there, smirking in his sleep – he'd never stopped smirking – I bet he was smirking even while he did this horrible thing – this perversion of everything good and right with the world.  The diabolical little troll – lying there, stewing in his own evil. 

I started to take a step forward in order to get better aim at the little brown-haired monster who plagued me so this past week.  However, while I tried to move closer, I tripped over his laptop which the coward had obviously placed there on purpose, just so I would stumble over it during my quest for revenge. 

I managed to regain my balance quickly, but in the split second I had felt myself falling, my arms flailed wildly and I just happened to hit his desk lamp, sending it crashing to the floor.  My roommate immediately awakened and sat up in bed; I felt his little rat eyes fall on me.

“Chris, what is it now?” he asked sleepily.  He must have caught sight of the moonlight reflecting off the blade because then he gasped and asked, “Wh-why do you have a knife?” in a small voice.
To him I replied in a tone which showed my outrage at his offense, “You ate the last Pizza!”