Letter to GOD!
Dear God,
Birthdays have never meant much to me...it's just another day of another year...and usually, I don't pay attention to birthday wishes, nor do I bother to think about what the year may bring... Because, it will bring whatever it does, whether I think about it or not. However, this 23nd year of my life, I would like to thank You... I ate ****-- a lot of it...I've been to the lowest point, and sunk even further, though I was told it wasn't possible. I have been more angry than the most notorious of warriors and I have been more frightened than the most helpless of children... And it never made sense to me. But, then I realized... Who said it has to make sense? After all, You never promised life to be full of lollipops and candy kisses, where cotton clouds of dreams cushon the blow of reality...that is our own self-imposed illusion...and I say self-IMPOSED because such a notion, an ideal, is nothing more than a BURDEN... It is an onus like no other because it makes it impossible for us to face pain, hurt, anger, fear...it makes it next to undoable to overcome our inner demons... it makes us bear secrets, and house shame, guilt and self-loathing animosity... So, thank You-- for all the ****...for tearing down my illusion, for bringing down the lollipop and candy kisses and letting me fall on my head, as my clouds of dreams failed to catch me... for removing the onus that I imposed upon myself... I am stronger, I am more ambitious than ever to live life...and most importantly, I AM NOT AFRAID...I AM NOT AFRAID to lose, to fail, to be overlooked, to be blamed, to be hated, to be rejected, to be abandoned... For those who claim I have lost, those who call me a failure, overlook me, blame me, hate me, reject me, abandon me...are lost in themselves, are petrified of being failures, overlooked, blamed, hated, rejected and abandoned... And that's ok...one day, I hope that those people make the same realization that I have... I hope they can rid themselves of the same burden I imposed on my own person... This year, I do have one wish-- well, one wish with a couple of trailing little ones... I wish I have proven that I am ready to live-- that I am ready to love, to be loved, to go after my ambitions, to travel where they may take me, to wake up everyday and be challenged with the unknown... Yes, the unknown... for that is where life breathes. The only thing I need to know is... That I don't need anything or anyone, that’s includes you!
Yours truly, Rick
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