"I remember about a year ago, that was the last time i felt my heart beet strongly. Alot of things were different back then, the door to the world was opening, but now i feel as if it has closed. lately, my heart has been beating a little more then normal, for me anyways... I have not had good experiences with feelings of..."Love"...its a terrifying emotion that always leads to heat break, pain, anger, and the most terrifying emotion that i fear. "Envy". The reason i fear it? I can not control it, i can stop myself from crying, i can stop being angry, i can stop laughing, but doing this, has its price. But envy, no matter how hard i try, i can not stop it from controlling me. i have only felt this just recently, well, i few months back, and i was so scared i was crying, i have never felt so much hate, so much jealousy, so much...."Envy" But one question remains to be answered. If i do not want to love, or be loved..Why do i still pursue it?
If you can tell me this, please do, but i have a feeling, i am gonna figure this out...sooner then i think..."
~David
l33t m45t3r david Community Member |
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