another one, and now I seems to think that some of my poems are starting to sound very cheesy sweatdrop , so if you guys/girls can give me some idea about how they sounds then that would be great, and I don't mind if there's some constructive criticizing, just not being plain mean. I will try to improve on anything that is commented.
There he sits alone
Look at a light beyond
Who's lights afar shone
He looks like the is thinking
Deep inside his thoughts
Not once even blinking
He sat there for hours
His expression seems sour
What is going on?
What is it that you feel?
Open up your heart
And let me inside
I forever loved you
But you looked me out
Then he stood up and walk
To the edge of the cliff
"Goodbye my love..."
His last thought of me
*please comment*
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consumed_by_darkness4
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