So about the time of my birthday (almost 1 month ago)I start talking to my ex bf.
Me and him..well lets just say back in oct-nov we were together..we went ALL the way and he cheated on me with one of my "friends" and I broke up with him and didnt speak..nor see him for like..3 months.
Thought about him the whole 3 months too.
Horrible.
End of that story.
So anyways me and my friends are walking and we bump into him and they start talking to him.
He turns to me and was like so how are you? What have you been up to?
Boy you look amazing kind of thing.
I couldnt stop smiling.
Couldnt really talk either.
I was scared and shy.
Amongst being angry with him.
We become friends that day.
He asked for forgiveness.
I told him sure.
Hahaha like I can ever forgive him even though we are friends I guess.
Well at the time that was going through my head.
Still kinda does. I dont think I can forgive him.
But he might gain trust.
If he shows it better by not talking about other women.
Anyways,
That one day we were reunited I called him and we talked on the phone for like 5 hours.
I once again fell head over heels in "love" with him again.
He wouldnt stop saying I am sorry for what happend.
We were deciding to start over where we left off.
He picks me up for school the next morning and we kiss.
I missed his soft lips. His hands on my hands.
It was nice.
We wernt going to tell alot of people.
Just his friend and I decided to tell one of my friends about it.
So..anyways...
A new semester starts and my ex ends up comming back to the high school.
My friend decides to ask him if me and him are going out.
He says "No we are not. I dont date my ex gf's."
Made me almost want to cry.
I decided after school..not to ride with him.
It would be an awkward moment.
So I am walking home with my 2 friends from the bus drop off area and one of my friends told me what my ex said.
He apparently said that he doesnt want a commited relationship with me.
He wants to be friends.
But still wants to ********.
Makes me feel more violated.
What have I done?
I cant stad him!
But yet..I am one of those "nicer" girls and so I usually just end up being friends with EVERYONE almost.
I hate it.
When will I take charge?
My ex knows exactly how I feel about him and yet he goes on about being friends and being able to get "p***y" from me.
Well all the guys say p***y. So..it just fits into what my ex would say.
I wish they wouldnt refer it to that.
Sure its interesting to say..I guess..but refering other women and me to p***y..
is just downright wrong.
I have been violated.
I want more of him.
But then again...do I really want to do this?
Moslikly not. But I dont know..Id kill to feel like I did back when I was with him.
Before he ******** up the relationship.
It was wonderful.
Anyways...
Enough for now.
Maybe more later.
I hardly get on this site anymore.
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ROCK & ROLL BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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