fuuuucker. i'm BACK. not BACK like i wanted. not ME. i'm HER. THAT GIRL. i HATE that girl. i want to be TAYLOR. why'd this happen?! it was thoes other girls, i swear. i also swear that i've been through all the stages of change in about an hour. hm, i seem to be doing a lot of swearing actually. I keep telling myself I keep telling myself I'm not the desperate type But you've got me looking in through blinds I keep telling myself I keep telling myself I'm not the desperate type first stage: anger. like HELL. PISS HELL ********! who the hell were they and why were they THERE? I'm having another episode I just need a stronger dose second stage: denial. it was the sister. i knew it, stole his phone, the little b***h [which i mean loveingly]. ********. got all rilled up over nothing. WHORE. [don't mean that in a negative way, i just use it to replace '********' 'cause i say '********' so much.] I keep my jealousy close, 'Cause it's all mine. obviously i'm not keeping it that close though. i'm sorry to admit, but i'm a liar. unintentionally about a lot of stuff, i just change my mind. but i am. and i am. and i am. and i hate this. anyone figure it out yet? no? yes? HOOOOOBVIOUSLY. "i get beck and i get sean" who do i get? i see the name flashed across the tv 5 times [i counted] and still, i get no one. i get me, myself, and i? BUT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! really. this isn't fair. i'm never going top continue on with my oh so stupid was of turning everything into the most vague metaphore i can think of. that confuses people. i think they get it, but they don't. so now i'm me. here. just me. not even taylor, she got up and walked out. coffee break i guess. damn long one. leaving me, the nerotic, confused, emotional, SPAZ, all alone here listening to fall out boy. [oooobviously.] [and PATD] You know it will always just be me even though it isn't. and nothing even happened to bring this on, right? I am missing you to death
phone girls- hahahahaha hello? me- hello? phone girls- [giggle, giggle and passing of the phone.] him- hello? me- .....hi. him- yes? me- [said something.] him- [responds?] him- i'm kinda tied up right now.. me- fine bye. [MOTHER ******** CLICK]
there. see, i'm messed up. that was nothing. 'specially nothing since i was supposed to meet him for movies like.. an hour and thirty one minutes ago. And it's mind over you don't, don't, matter feel sick. want to know what happened. why? who? ********. here, now. to the point of talking to lucas. can't call. not scared. just don't want to hear them. i'm really. ********. and i know. i KNOW. and i'm sorry. i believe you, i see it all, so don't think i'm crazy. cause their personality is s**t, but i don't care. well that's a lie. i do. just. s**t. it ain't over. it won't be. Joke me something awful just like kisses on the necks of "best friends"* We're the kids who feel like dead ends And I want to be known for my hits, not just my misses I took a shot and didn't even come close At trust and love and hope And the poets are just kids who didn't make it And never had it at all
Please put the doctor on the phone 'cause I'm not making any sense Blame everyone but me for this mess And my back has been breaking from this heavy heart We never seemed so far I'm hopelessly hopeful, you're just hopeless enough But we never had it at all
.!conoclast. · Sat Mar 17, 2007 @ 01:06am · 2 Comments |