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yep the day has come. though I did get an interview for a job I wont know if I got it till monday >< they have to check to see if I'm rehireable. cause I worked at the place like 9 years ago when I was a newb. well newb in the job world. plus I was young and didn't know what to do with my life and didn't care about the job itself cause I had a place to live. its funny how you seem to care about stuff more when its not handed to you or provieded for you. when your young you focus on learning and school is important. but no one in school ever prepaires you for what realy happens out there. like takeing out student loans or geting a morgage on a house or buying a car saveing for the future. most of the time when I was young I only cared about hanging with my friends and having as much fun as possible. though I'm not saying that you shouldn't do that when your young.... I'm only saying that because I look back at my life and I wonder why didn't I lesten more. Did my elders try to warn me about the real world or did they let me belive what I want and let the harsh reality of being homeless and provieding for a family teach me the lessons I should have learned long long ago. I am a pridefull person so asking people for money even when I knew I couldn't pay them back humbeled me greatly. yet I was to ashamed to ask for the money from my wife's side of the family. I didn't ask my parents for money only a place to live when my inlaws finaly kicked us out. I lay awake at night and talk to God just to be with him to help me get to sleep at night. I should have listed to him long ago as well. yet somehow I feel he has been guideing me through this mess I call my life. Ever step since I lost my job in January has been in faith. I truly know that if God dosn't want you in a place and needs you elsewear he will find a way to move you. To me I never felt so moved as when my son's Grandfather put his hands on my son in anger. this has brought our family who befor we moved in with them were falling apart closer than ever befor. as a young man I was very shy and didn't have much of a spine till I was in middle school. when the school bully picked on me on the bus for no reason I kicked his a**. it had been ever since the first grade of every day teasing and alot of other things that drove my fists hard into that bullys face not to mention the science book that droped on his head 3 or 4 times befor my fists. for me it was the best day of my life. I had a spine some what unformed and still unsure of my self. it wasn't untill I met my wife did I truly form a spine. It was the only way I could be with her. I had to become strong. not for any selfish reason but its because thats what God wanted me to be. to learn to have a spine so that when the day came to stand up to my son's grandfather I could without fear look deep into that mans eyes and tell him if he ever touched my son that way again I would kick his a**. and belive you me he threated me harm but the look in my eyes made him cringe deep down inside. because he knew if he laid on hand on me it would be over for him. to me that man is a coward. never once did he ever try to talk with me in a maner befiting of a man. and if it was talk it was browbeating down talking. no love no respect and no care for us or my family. he instead would yell at my wife and secertly take his anger at us out on my son. I am thankful that they are miles away from us and I hope to GOD! I never see them again as long as I live. scream . *ahem* right I was talking about me and my wife's first year of marriage. thats about it realy. Good lord befor I met wy wife my life was videogames, work, sleep, and church mostly boring if you ask me well.... not church that was always fun. I had no perpous for the most part well not that I felt I had. Then I met her. wowzers what a woman. ever since then my life has been far from boring. I feel like I never lived life to the fullest befor I met her and her son too. Now ever day is a blessing filled with joy and yeah some sadness too but each day is like a full breath of air that a moutains breeze caries form its tops to the workers in the fields. refresing and exausteing all at the same time. Even though times are tough right now I feel that I am the lukyest man to live.

Jamin