I don't think I'm going to compromise anymore. I'm not going to be what I'm not. I don't feel like looking for love anymore. I don't feel like smiling when I feel like crying or crying when I feel like smiling. I don't think I'll care if I laugh at some funeral in the future anymore. Don't think I'm going to act like I care what you think. Yes, I want you to be happy and I'm generally a nice person so I won't meaninglessly be bitchy to you, but I really am done compromising.

As for love, if it hits me, it's going to hit me. I refuse to settle like everyone in my family did. I'll marry, love the person of my dreams, someone who makes me feel like I can survive anything as long as their warm hand is holding my cold one and that'll be all that matters; that we're together. That's what I want. I don't want some girlfriend or boyfriend that I'm with the blow the time. I want a person I care about and I have no patience, but I'll wait and I'll leap at the opportunity when I find it, but I won't rush it. I can't go looking for love. I won't look for it anymore. I'm not upset, I'm content. smile I'm happy with the idea. Why strive for love when the surprise of it is so much better?