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I have come to the conclusion that as far as love goes, I am a stepping stone. Now, this isn't necessarily a bad thing... I mean, I love helping people out, and making them happy.
My thinking in my head is that perhaps love is out there, but not everyone is meant to have it. I believe in soul mates. I also believe that not everyone has one. I believe I'm one of those people who don't.
I think that, since my past experiences of being left for someone better... Perhaps I am meant as sort of a middle man. Boys who date me end up with someone else. Someone better. I'm not being down on myself. I just... Well... I've dated five boys besides my one internet relationship. Each one of them left me because someone else better came along. They would cheat on me, and then they would eventually leave me for them. And to this day, each one of my ex's is still with the boy or girl they left me for. Like they were meant to be.
Of course, naturally, I was hurt badly each time. But... Now I realize that perhaps it was meant to be that way. They dated me, and then found what they truly wanted in someone else. Who am I to hold them to me if they want to be with someone else? I mean... Seriously. That's not my place.
So... I should just go into relationships knowing that my loved one will find another. Maybe then I wouldn't always be so hurt.
I am just a stepping stone.
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