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Mmm....life...interesting subject...interesting facts...and yet no one ever knows the truth. I have put up with soo much kuso from the end of last school year to this point...that I don't think my head could possibly be getting worse...I'm soo sick and tired...tired of lies...tired of promises being broken....tired of those who say one thing and do another...
I don't know what's the truth anymore...nor do I think I WANT to know anymore...right now...I just want everything to slow down...and go as if nothing ever went wrong...or ever will...
Every day I damn myself for not dying instead of Sei 10 years ago...and every time I cry those same tears that will not do any good...knowing that there will be no one else who would be there as much as he was for me...
It is hard to accept the truth..and it is hard to deal with the past...but as the saying goes "it's not time that heals...it is love" ... I just realized...that I may have people who love me...but I do not have that person...nor do I believe anymore that I will find him...
I'm not quitting gaia...but I will be spending less time on it...I have a life or so you may call it... I know what I want, even though I won't get it... and I know what will happen of me, I will slowly brake...and one day be unable to see to anything anymore...as for everyone else...the only person that I can truly say I love you... is you Airhead...
you accept me...thank you...you cried with me and comforted me when I was lost and empty...you didn't reject me when we met b/c of my accent of my looks... you didn't judge me by what you saw...and you were always there...
heart Arigato imoto-sama! heart I can't say I would be any more proud to have a little sister like you...and a friend for eternity even after I die.
to GUY'S!
I don't know what to believe...I don't want to believe...
don't play with my feelings...
don't say what you do not mean
don't be lying to me and yourself
if you have something to say...do so...
don't wait till the last minute...and then brake someone's heart!
~ Yelena aka Sita
 Amrosia Amyn · Fri Aug 11, 2006 @ 01:57am · 1 Comments |
