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So Ive been clean now for a year... and I work for my cousin.

I put up with a lot of her s**t and she put up with a lot of mine.


Well last night I just ******** could not take it.
I shot up a few lines of coke...barely a nick... in that moment I felt like an addict again all I could think about was ******** what I could sell then it hit me...my son. I was desperatly tying to call my mom to come pick him up but she wouldnt answer her phone was off...

I couldnt think strait I was so ******** high sweating my heart pumping I smoked some weed but I could feel it. I was high.

IT wasn't crack or heroin but It was enough to start those thoughts It was enough to wake up the beast. What do I do? I dont wanna go to treatment I dont want anyone to know I ******** up. I have a five needle mark track on my arm... how the ******** am I gonna hide this?



After I just went to sleep holding my sleeping son crying cause I was scared I love him. I woke up I feel a little better his beautiful face kinda earases thew guilt his dface was like "I forgive you mom, just dont do it again, i love you"