Dear Jacky,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but your nostrils are insulting. I think I realized it last year when you peed your pants outside of your office and I saw you drive over my boyfriend. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that you need a sex-change. I'm returning your car, but keeping your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I will always remember the pep talks and you ruined my attempt at another world war.
Go milk a cow
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