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I'll update this when something new happens.

I may not have many faithful friends on this site if any, but I figure I may as well inform the general public (aka anyone who stumbles across my profile/journal) about the happenings in my life.

Only kind of. I don't want to get into too many details.

This is hard to type seeing as how I've come to terms that I'm in denial. I really don't want to type this up, but I don't know how coming up events will affect me and my life. Honestly.

Man, I feel retarded for doing this...
But anyway... My mom is going into surgery Next Tuesday (Nov. 7th, 2006) for the removal of large cancerous tumors in her neck, lungs, breasts and I don't know where else and the doctors have told her that her chances of coming out of surgery are slim. I've cried about it and can't do it anymore. In fact, I feel positive, mostly, that she'll come out of it beaten up, but alright. And of course there's another side of me that feels deeply hurt by the whole thing. I can't lose my mom. Sure, she was hardly there for me and she has done horrible, uspeakable things to this family emotionally, but she's still my mom...

School has started to become unbearable. I haven't been turning in my school work because it's so hard to concentrate on anything other than my personal life. I feel like such a failure.

Support on the matter hasn't been fantastic due to my lack of social life. I'm just damn lucky to have a sort of second family and my boyfriend. I have one friend I keep in contact with, but she's not great with these things. She tries and I'm happy for it.

My chest feels so heavy and I feel like I just want to fall asleep for a long time. I never want next week to come. I'm so scared.