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Dear Journal,
The past few days have felt great but I know it's just a shame. She makes me smile when I'm weak but it's not fair. I hung out with her on Wednesday and Thursday Lunch, just sitting next to her chatting, others thinking I was making my move but I haven't yet. It's unfair cause she is taken with a guy who's so connected if he heard about me, I'll get gang banged, anywho, it's unfair that she has a man already and she still acts all nice, cute, kawaii and sorta flirty to me, that's how I see it. But I know I always see things the wrong way, making things seem as I want it to seem. On Friday it was Mufti Day, meaning you wear casual, I didn't talk to her on Lunch or Recess, it felt like a miserable day, but my friend named Christian who was the first to go out with her hang out with me and started talking about girls, especially her. He said that you shouldn't worry since there's plenty of other girls out there, but she's the only one which makes me feel this way. I made this poem about her and showed it to Christian.
What am I supposed to do?
Should I go away or say I love you?
What am I supposed to feel?
I know it's fake but feels so real
What am I supposed to say?
I love you so much so please just stay
What am I supposed to write?
About how I love you with all my might
What am I supposed to be?
Stuck in a cage or just be free
What am I supposed to need?
Only you, is what I plead.
He said it was very good and we should show it to her, but I refused since she will know exactly how I feel. Even though her friends told her I like her and everyone who knows me knows I like her but even though, it'll feel more awkward talking to her, so I don't know what to do.
If you are reading this please comment.