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i love someone dearly. So verymuch it hurts. But i love him anyway, and i know id never stop.
But.... when i'm with this person(someone else, call them B).. my feelings wane. i no longer want to admit i love him(call him M). i no longer want to say, i wish to be with M forever. For i know.. or think i know.. how B feels about me.. and .. although i try hard to deny it..i think i feel the same. When ever i am without B my love for M is very strong, But when i am with B.. i only want to think about B and i can only see myself with B. But either way..my heart... it hurts. for neither of them, B nor M, know this. i wish to tell them but.. i just cant find the words. Should i tell M i think i may be in love with somone else aswell? how would i tell B what i might be feeling without leading him on.....

I know i love M.. i love him so much i know i could not be in this world if he were not here.
I dont know how i feel about B.. do i just feel the need to be with somone on a more than mental level. Is it anymore than a small crush? or... could it be.. i love them both.

But when the time came to decide... who would i chose.. B is leaving and M is already gone... in the end.. no matter who i wish to be with i'm to be left alone. Will i always be alone...?
And.. what will help this pain in my heart?

I know i love M.. and having mixed feelings about B makes me want to cry.. Because i'm not being honest...
(( just so ya'll know i'm venting so some stuff might be repeated.. im just trying to get it out >.< wink )
When i'm around B, i just... i just... its like my heart is speaking so loud i cant hear my head, and since my head is trying to shout over my heart i end up not hearing either... i feel lost. with no one to guide me. I just want to know how i really feel and.. in the end... wil i still be alone?
Because if you knew me well at all....... you'd know that... i hate being alone....