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Depression hurts so bad
i hate my life. i hate it so much. i wish i could die already. the only thing holding me back is my love for joe. i feel as if my entire life has been a lie. its hard to try to feel love from words of the one you love over the internet. i hate that i have to take on all these insults and negative thoughts. my so called parents are talking about me behind my back. they just dont realize that im around. all the good things i do for them they dont take into account. they only realize that im around whenever there's something bad. i got into an accident yesterday. my dad didnt care if i was ok. he was more concerned about the car. my mom acted like she cared that i was ok yesterday, and today she flipped out on me so early in the morning. i bet they both wanted me to die. then they'll have one less kid to worry about. they already have enough trouble from my older sister. they dont need me around. they pay for her appartment and college. i however have to pay for the books for class. the government pays for my tuition. my parents didnt pay anything and they decide to cause me so much pain. im treated like s**t. my sister and brother get all that they want. they didnt even help out around the house. i always do and i still get yelled at. i dont invite friends over like they said. but my sis and bro gets to. that is so ******** up. i cant stand this. my mom insulted me by saying that i dont have friends at all because of the way i looked. how freakin messed up is that? i hate my life. i hate it. i hate it. I HATE MY LIFE. then there's some people who i thought were friends but they end up saying things that hurt me. someone told me some of the stuff my bf did. now i wonder if im being lied to again? i feel like i should close myself from everyone. i feel like i cant trust anyone anymore. pain and sorrow has enraptured me into deep torment from the inside. i feel like killing myself but i cant. i want to be with him.
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