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I could sense him in my dreams many times after that though I never ‘saw’ him. I could feel him, watching. It was kind of creepy and once or twice I yelled for him to quit it. I never got a response though. At the same time there was always that pushing, that longing. I could feel him then too but the longing to get past Gate was growing stronger. I began to start sleepwalking, which is something that I’d never had a problem with before. I yelled in my dreams that if this were his doing would he kindly knock it off. I had enough on my plate without this too and heard soft, echoing laughter. Damn you, I howled at him. Quit it or next time I saw him I’d do more than plant my knuckles in his check!

I guessed the longing to see the Gate and beyond was his doing but I could never quite remember this when I was awake. Awake I was obsessed with the Gate and what lay behind it. Now, I’m not one to obsess over anything normally and kept trying to stop and examine this weird compulsion but I couldn’t seem to focus my mind for long enough. My thoughts kept skittering away to that damned Gate. I couldn’t remember my dreams clearly and it was only when I was angry or annoyed that my mind seemed to clear enough for me to think a bit… unfortunately, except for the damned Gate obsession, not a lot annoys me as a rule. I’m not quick tempered but irritation at the compulsion was an easy thing to keep on constant (more or less) boil in my mind… though it made me none to rational about other things. Also, I heard about a series of infiltrations at the Gate Gangers H.Q. I could only hope like crazy that it wasn’t me, when I was sleep roaming.
Those dreams of the Gate weren’t very restful so after about another month… or maybe it was 2 or 3? It was so hard to keep reality and my dreams straight. They seemed to merge and overlay each other. I scared hell out of myself a couple of times though, when I woke up in the morning only to find I was stiff, sore, tired as a marathon runner after the big race and had soiled gear under my bed or I actually woke up for a minute or two in a completely different town from the one I’d gone to sleep in! I didn’t know how I was getting out! After all, mum had put a lock on the outside of my door to keep me from roaming at night and my window was fly-screened and to far from the ground to make going out of it a viable option… it was also too small.

I was getting scared! What the HELL was happening to me! I was almost ready to check myself into the nearest funny farm. Fortunately, like most humans, my fear readily turns to anger and at the moment anger is a very useful emotion. I could never keep my head clear enough for long enough to figure out what was happening to me though. I don’t remember a lot but I stopped going to school and I’m told my behavior was extremely erratic.

I cursed and railed but I felt someone thought I was being overly stubborn… though there was pride mixed in with that too. Surprisingly, I was learning a lot too. Though mostly what I was learning about was the timetables various guard posts, all the way to the Great Gate were changed and the skills needed to get past them. Luckily I was already pretty fit and by the end of this period I was in close to top form… except for lack of sleep exhaustion.