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My sceret and painful past...
Ok furs... You know me as this Black and green Wox that you all love and such. Fact is: This isn't my first fursona... I was a fur back aroudn a year or two... but it was kept in a huge secrecy that I never told anyone (or anyfur for that matter). I had a fursona that was an Arctic Fox named "Arc".
I had pics scanned up (that I drew) but back then I was completely introverted. I didn't have many friends online and in real life... I was deeply suffering from life at the time and all. But in certain times I had only two mates (Which both simply put me down and never talked to me again...). I really just couldn't take any of it anymore... Most of my 12 furry friends online simply ignored me and I took that into account... I was also a Yiff-whore, but I never gained friends by then. I know "once a fur always a fur" But I was about to say "F-that" and leave... But all the same I was just going to not talk to them anymore. Many bad things have progress throughout life soon after. My parents engaged in a conversation one night, that involved furries. They thought of only the negatives and never wanted me to get "infected" by it. And so after I had to bear with that and wince a bit at their rebukes against the fandom at large. I went back to my computer and deleted EVERY single furry pic I had back then... And I simply stopped talking on furry sites and such... I "Gave up" so to say.
But it was still in me, aside from the fact that I stopped drawing all the same. I didn't express it as much online and around the few friends I had back then. And so, I would officially say Arc is dead. A few month came and gone, and the somewhat painful regret came to me more and more... I felt horrid that I'm just leaving something I had going... Even if it wasn't much. I began drawing again, but at that time... MY parents finally knew I was a fur. They saw 5 pics already done by me, and I kept on saying that it had come from my friends. But they knew I rarely had any, and started cussing me out and ripping the pics up. I really couldn't believe why these things were taking place, but I kept on drawing. But by then... Year by year, they got madder and madder at me, and begun to ignore me as well as say hurtful things. Around a year and a half, I changed my fursona to my current one (Wulf) And started to try my best to spread my wings. Eventually I got much acclaim from my current-day furry friends. I went on SL a bit more and things were returning to normal.
And weeks before I joined the FU, I've finalized Wulf, but I dubbed him the "scarred version of Arc": With the green being the acid and scars that have affected me back then, And the black being the shadows of being ignored and unloved... He's 3/4ths Black wolf, and 1/4th "Arc". But this, in turn, became a better start for me. And so on, as I finally gained friends online and in SecondLife. I pondered if there were furry guilds on Gaia... I was about to give up, but I seemingly found the FU. And yeah... As it progressed from there, you all know what happened after... My mom goes crazy with trying to embarass me in front of her friends and blame every wrong doing on my "furry-a**" self. Of course she left and blah blah blah...
So you know.. That was the only form in my side for so long... There was more to it, but it was too painful to even state...
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Community Member
I'm glad you're happy now...
I'm glad you've posted this as well, it takes a lot of guts to stand up and say something like this...
Not because it is hurtful..but because you think that you will be judged by it...
...I hate talking about my past as well...but I don't know if I've gone through anything like this....
...just remember, you will always have me and...well, Pink too..
heart heart heart