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It was the last day of school.
Most of the people where crying, because it was such a small class, (18 people,) and we'd known each-other almost 3 years.
It was hard.
I was sad, but I didn't think I'd actually cry. I suppose thats because I didn't plan on hugging him...?
Everyone was forcing me to do it. "Go Jordan!" They yelled, pushing me in his direction. I bet he even heard us, too.
It was such a heart-break, because when the others didn't look, I finally did it.
I walked up to him, looked down, and asked "Could I have... A hug?"
He forced a smile, and we walked up to each-other and hugged. It felt so good, but knowing it was the only possible time, I started to swell with tears.
"Thank you," I whispered into his ear, as I suddenly turned around, and headed for the classroom.
I found myself suddenly stuck in my head, blackness and swirling light between the gaps. It didn't last long, though, for when I opened my eyes, I found my head on my friend Odille's shoulder, crying and weeping.
I couldn't stop. It hurt so much. Like someone dug out my heart with a dull spoon, leaving jagged and broken pieces behind.
I felt dead.
Hmmm.... I'll never forget that day.
Its harder and harder with each passing moment, because we email each-other. I feel like he's the one who had the spoon, the very one that dug out my heart, and he's using it as some kind of painful voo`'do that'll kill me, playing with my emotions.
Its hard to let go, when at the end of our emails, he'll write:
"Love M___y".
But it also broke my heart, when he told me that he wanted to hug the girl he likes. I mean, its no surprise, but why tell me this?
I feel like a rag doll.
Then I heard from someone that (because he never cried at the class room, and commented "Its annoying to watch you all cry",) he cried on the bus.
He also told me "When I heard that you cried, after, or because we hugged, it really made me think", though, he never told me what he thought about.

Its hard for almost all of us, but... I couldn't imagine it being harder for me.

I'm broken by it.
Broken,
Shattered,
Dust.