As usual Ive got some good along with some bad. I don't think I'm ready to bring the bad into the open yet, so Ill just say it to let it be known. There is sadness.
Anyway, sooo. Nothing absolutely amazing has happened, really. I think Ron has finally moved to Ohio. FINALLY. Its only an assumption I have made from a photograph I found on a T-shirt website on accident. Im about 90% sure its him, but you never know. The buildings in the back are definately not Vegas buildings and the grass is actually green, so if it is him, he isnt here.
I dont want this whole entry to be about Ron, but I have made an achievement worth noting. I don't know what did it exactly but I think I've finally made peace with myself on the whole ron thing. I just dont give a damn what happens to him, or what he does, so long as it doesnt involve me. I went to Mi chi's B-day party and I was getting upset. I won't say at what right now, but Mi chi's guess was that Mi chan and I had run into ron. That just struck me as the most off the wall reason for me to be upset. And that's when I realized it. I just don't care anymore. I'm over it. There is fairly little he could do to make me cry again. So, w00t, victory for me.
My Kitsune school is soon to end with an abrubt bang. It makes Me kinda sad to see it go. Thats what got me started here on Gaia and made Zanti the character she is. I can't just let it die and fade away, so Im taking an example from Rat-tail (for lack of better name) and I think Im going to rewrite it as a story here in my journal. Of course, Gaia had to eat the first 15 or so pages of it, so I will be left to try to remember it as close to how it happened to begin with, but it won't come out exactly right. Sorry.
Si chi is going out with Mei chan's ex. Again. Mei chan says she's fine with it, so Im not really mad. Im happy for them. It just makes me contemplate the value of a relationship in my group. In my brother's group of friends they'll date a girl (I.E. have sex with her mercilessly) then pass them to their friends, who will then do the same for a couple weeks and the cycle continues. This is what the situation in my group reminds me of slightly. Im not sure what I really feel about it right now. Everything seems happy and at least they act like couples instead of ********, but I can't help but feel like I should not be approving. Therefore, Ive decided to avoid the situation as much as possible. No group dates. None of that. I just will make it so I don't HAVE to approve or disapprove, not that its really my business anyway. Everything stays happy that way.
Also, I guess Im just nervous about MY relationship. I don't want to say why. Its not just my realtionship with Mi chan though. I mean, it's also my relationship with my friends. I've accepted the fact that we will drift, but I feel like we are spending so much less time together than drifting merits. And when I do spend tme with them, I just don't know what to say or do anymore.
Anyways, this post is getting long. Ill end it for now.
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My brain makes words.
If I need to talk but have no one to talk to or I feel I need to write through my problems, it goes here. I do not use names. If I do, it's because I either have no respect for the person, or I accidentally slipped.
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