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I'm scared shitless, it's 2:30 in the morning and I am paralyzed with fear. I realize, that in my life, I am useless. I worry that when I get out of highschool, I won't have that cushion of parents and I won't be ready for it, I'm worried. I don't know wether or not I'll be ready to take my musical education certification to even get INTO school. I'm worried that I'll decide to screw my major and take up psychology and say "I'll be a school psychologist." I'm worried that I won't have the money, i'm worried I won't survive that long...
I don't know where I belong in this big bad world, and I'm scared shitless, I need something to distract me or a sleep aid, either one will do the trick. I Don't have a clue where I'm going or how i'll get there but I need to make something out of my life so I have more to say than when I get home "suicide sounds nice..."
I worry about my mental health, dealing with my girlfriend, my mom, my soon to be job, my friends, my grades, my college acceptance, my god just my music theory alone takes me about 4 hours to calm down over. I'm freaking out, I need something to distract me, love won't pay my bills, love won't pay for her tuition, what will I do....I'm so lost and I'm so scared.
My girlfriends parents won't pay a DIME of her tuition so i'm slowly saving up so I might offer her something, i'm worried though because, i have my own tuition, and I worry that I won't be able to fund her and as soon as she turns 18, she won't have a place to stay...I love her, I want to be with her, and I want to do everything for her...but...i'm scared...
Dameon the -V- · Mon Jan 05, 2009 @ 07:33am · 0 Comments |
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