Effects
This burning feeling in my face..
I feel it whenever I see him.
But whenever I see him, I see him with her; and even if there's nothing special between their hearts.. connected or not.. it makes me sick to my stomach.
This feeling.. the burning in my sides.. aching and making my head spin with pain..
Why is it that I feel..
.....
I may be slowly becoming known to myself, I know my true nature now..
These people love me, yet I leave them in heart for another.
Someone who could never share my bliss, my eternal happiness.. yet sadness..
In sharing their company I would not give it up for anything.
Not even a chance to speak face to face with the ones who truly love me.
I feel as though I beat their kindness down, just so I could get what I wanted and seem so nice in this process..
How do I know if I'm not being this way because that's what I see other people doing.. they love each other too, these happy and elated creatures.
Can I ever feel this way?
Am I simply a form of greed?
One of the seven deadly sins has moved into me.. it has a firm hold on my heart now; and even after I thought I fell in love, for the first time.. I doubt it...
This sin is speaking oh-so-very-softly into my ear.. the air tickling my ear and pleasing my thoughts..
A shudder rolls through me yet I smile faintly.. in the face of greed and misery.. I laugh.
It tugs at me.. this greed... begging me so much.. I don't know how much longer I can withstand it's begging.. such pitiful begging...... so painful to me..
"Forget this person!" my mind says, simeltaneously tearing in chunks what's left of my heart..
"What is this I feel?!" I want to yell into the heavens.. but they do not exist there..
the heavens are a myth.. so these beings who love each other so much can feel secure and under control of a nonexistent tyrant who effects us in ways that should never occur..
This burning feeling in my face..
I feel it whenever I see him.
But whenever I see him, I see him with her; and even if there's nothing special between their hearts.. connected or not.. it makes me sick to my stomach.
This feeling.. the burning in my sides.. aching and making my head spin with pain..
Why is it that I feel..
.....
I may be slowly becoming known to myself, I know my true nature now..
These people love me, yet I leave them in heart for another.
Someone who could never share my bliss, my eternal happiness.. yet sadness..
In sharing their company I would not give it up for anything.
Not even a chance to speak face to face with the ones who truly love me.
I feel as though I beat their kindness down, just so I could get what I wanted and seem so nice in this process..
How do I know if I'm not being this way because that's what I see other people doing.. they love each other too, these happy and elated creatures.
Can I ever feel this way?
Am I simply a form of greed?
One of the seven deadly sins has moved into me.. it has a firm hold on my heart now; and even after I thought I fell in love, for the first time.. I doubt it...
This sin is speaking oh-so-very-softly into my ear.. the air tickling my ear and pleasing my thoughts..
A shudder rolls through me yet I smile faintly.. in the face of greed and misery.. I laugh.
It tugs at me.. this greed... begging me so much.. I don't know how much longer I can withstand it's begging.. such pitiful begging...... so painful to me..
"Forget this person!" my mind says, simeltaneously tearing in chunks what's left of my heart..
"What is this I feel?!" I want to yell into the heavens.. but they do not exist there..
the heavens are a myth.. so these beings who love each other so much can feel secure and under control of a nonexistent tyrant who effects us in ways that should never occur..
